Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
