Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
