im drinking this country out of the recession.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
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I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
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Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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