I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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