whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
