So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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