Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
