I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She swung at the pinata with crutches
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
