if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
