I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
