I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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