you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
