I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
