My liver just broke up with me...
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
