Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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