he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
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Do I have a choice?
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A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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