Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
