I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Randomize
