does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
