Christians are straight up FREAKS
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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