You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
