the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
