It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize