You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
