Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
we're making bets on your personal life
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
