What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize
