Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
