I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
