I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
He kissed a someone with a penis
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
