ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
