I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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