he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
