your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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