So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
