The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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