someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize