Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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