wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
