Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
