Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
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i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
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Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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