that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
