i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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