It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
