Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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