My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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