That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
