Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
