I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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