idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
