don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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