This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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