Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
