so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude