i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.