Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
