My Higher Power is John Stamos
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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