Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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