i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
