That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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