I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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