I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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