Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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