Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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