You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize