I'm laying in your front yard are you home
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.