The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.