guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.